Whether or not a family chooses to hold a funeral, burial or cremation, there are many options for honoring their child in a meaningful and respectful way. A child funeral can include a viewing of the deceased, memorial services and ceremonies, music, flowers, or even a remembrance tree. There are also ways that children can be included in the ceremony to make them feel like they are a part of it.
For example, young siblings may want to write a poem or a letter to their sibling to read at the service, have older children play musical instruments at the ceremony or create artwork that can be featured in the memorial program. This can be cathartic for children and can help them feel like they are a part of the ceremony.
If your family decides on a closed casket, it’s important to explain the process of a viewing and what their sibling will look like. This can be difficult for children as it is their first time experiencing the reality of death. It is also helpful to give them a choice of whether or not they want to see their sibling and to reassure them that they can always change their mind.
It is a good idea to assign a buddy system for your children during the service. This can be a friend or family member who is willing to leave the service with them should they become overwhelmed, have a panic attack, or need to rest. This will allow you to fulfill your duties during the ceremony while providing a safe and comfortable environment for your child.
Having a burial or cremation can be more expensive than attending a memorial service, so it’s a good idea to research the costs and find out what is available to you. Most funeral directors will offer reduced rates or a payment plan for children’s funerals and a lot of cemeteries, crematoria and urn companies do as well.
The decision of whether or not to include your children in a funeral service will be a personal one, but for most parents it is a very important way to ensure that their child feels loved and respected. It will also give them an opportunity to mourn in a healthy and safe way, preventing the development of long-term emotional issues that may arise from suppressed grief.
Involving your children can also be a positive experience, allowing them to understand that mourning is a natural part of the grieving process and teaches them the importance of expressing their emotions. Ultimately, this can prevent them from later feeling regret about not being allowed to participate in their siblings’ funerals. If your family is struggling with funeral expenses, it may be a good idea to contact your county social services department or community groups, as they often have resources for families in crisis. You can also contact your funeral home directly, as they have been known to offer emergency funds for families of children who pass away.