In the first stages of grief it can be hard to find the energy to think about arranging a funeral or memorial service for your child. However, this is something that needs to be done, and research shows that a service can help manage grief and promote healing.
If you decide to hold a service for your child, it is important to discuss what kind of funeral you would like with the funeral director. A service can be anything from a religious or traditional ceremony, to an outdoor or celebratory event. You can choose which casket or urn you wish to use and whether you would prefer to have the body buried or cremated.
It is also worth considering the location of the ceremony and the order of events. For example, you may want to arrange a public service so that family, friends and acquaintances can say their last farewells. This is particularly appropriate if the death was sudden and unexpected.
During the funeral, it is important to consider your children’s needs and feelings. They may be confused about what is happening and why people are crying. You should make sure that you explain everything to them in a way that they can understand. You should also prepare them for the event beforehand so that they know what to expect.
The funeral is also an opportunity for you to honour your child. This could be in the form of a service, a celebration of life or a memory jar. Many parents find that if they can find ways to honour their child, it helps them feel connected and less isolated during the grief process.
If your child is being buried, it is important to talk with the funeral directors about what kind of coffin or urn you would like to use. There are a variety of caskets and urns available, and you should take the time to look through them so that you can decide which one is right for you.
You should also give the child a chance to participate during the ceremony. This could be as simple as allowing them to sign an autograph book or matted photo frame and it can be a good way for them to express their feelings. You might also want to ask them to pass a microphone during the ceremony and encourage people to share stories or memories of your child.
If your child was stillborn, you may be able to apply for financial assistance from the Children’s Funeral Fund in England or Wales or from other sources. This will help with the cost of a funeral, burial or cremation. If you would like to find out more about this, please contact us and we will be happy to help.