A child funeral is a way for families to celebrate the life of their baby or young son or daughter. This kind of service is often more intimate and private than a traditional funeral, and can be cost-effective. Often, families choose to focus on the things their child loved most – a favorite teddy bear or balloons, for example – and decorate the venue with these objects. This can also be a great way for family and friends to come together and share memories and support.
Before the funeral, it’s important to talk with your children about what will happen. Be sure to include what the casket will look like, if it will be open or closed, and what will happen to the body if cremation is chosen. Explaining this information in advance can help alleviate confusion and anxiety on the day of the ceremony. It’s also important to remind your children that it is normal for people to cry at funerals and memorial services, and that everyone grieves differently.
You should also prepare your children for the fact that they may see other children attending the same service. It can be helpful to arrange for a familiar friend, such as a sibling or close family member, to attend with them, so that they have someone they feel comfortable turning to if they are upset or confused. A buddy can also play with them or offer distractions if they are fidgety.
Depending on your child’s age, they may not be ready to view the body at the funeral or memorial service. If they are, you should allow them to do so at their own pace, and don’t force them to touch or kiss the body. It’s a good idea to have a trusted adult nearby to sit with them while they do this, so that you can take a break if needed.
If your child doesn’t want to view the body, you can still have a ceremony that celebrates their life. You can use photos, special objects, music and stories to honor their memory. You can also invite friends and family to participate by sharing stories or signing a message board. Many families also have a memorial table with their child’s favorite food, a sing-along or other fun activities. This is a great way to bring joy and comfort to the whole family, especially if your child does not wish to attend the service itself.
If you do decide to have a funeral or memorial service, it’s important to be prepared for the financial costs. These can vary greatly depending on your location and the type of service you choose, and can quickly add up. Check out our help with funeral costs page to get a better understanding of the different expenses involved. Then, you can make the most informed decision possible for your family. Be sure to read contracts carefully before making any final decisions, and be aware of any hidden fees.