A child funeral is a special service that allows children to say goodbye in a way that is appropriate to their age. It can be a very emotional event for the whole family and is an opportunity to help them process their grief in a healthy way.
It is important to understand that children may have very different reactions than adults, and it is not uncommon for children to want to view their loved one’s body after a death. It is a good idea to talk to them about it ahead of time, and to answer their questions honestly. It is also important to give them a choice about whether they wish to participate or not. If they decide to, be sure that they have the option to leave at any time if they feel overwhelmed.
If you choose to have an open casket funeral or memorial, it is important to prepare the child for what they will see. It is a good idea to take them to the funeral home or burial location beforehand, so they can get a sense of what it will be like. Explain the entire process, step by step, and let them ask as many questions as they need to.
Many parents choose to have their children involved in the planning of a ceremony, such as choosing music, songs and poems that reflect on cherished memories. Some families also choose to have the children select a favorite picture or item of their deceased loved one, and include it in the photo display or memorial table during the service. Others have their children write a letter or poem to be read at the service, or design a special memory book to take home with them.
Often, children love to be involved with the service itself. They might be a flower or balloon bearer, or act as honorary pallbearers. Older children might be invited to give a reading or short speech, and they can even create their own music for the service. Some children may prefer to have a special memorial to their sibling by choosing two identical objects, such as soft toys, to be placed in the casket or urn.
It is also common to have a commemoration booklet handed out to guests that lists what will happen during the service, and it can be helpful for children to refer to this throughout the day. The booklet can be as simple as a piece of paper or a professionally printed brochure.