A child funeral can be a comforting and meaningful event for families. Whether your child died in utero, was stillborn or passed away early on in life, they deserve a service that is as special and unique as they were. Children often have their own ideas about what they want at a funeral or memorial service and having these opinions valued can help them feel more comfortable with attending. They may also have questions that need answering, so be sure to answer them in a way they can understand.
A child’s funeral will include a wake or visitation, a ceremony and sometimes a committal or burial. Children can choose to attend all or part of these events and they may or may not go up to the casket. They can also decide if they want to participate in other rituals such as a flower laying, lighting a candle or saying goodbye.
When planning a child funeral, consider a number of factors including:
How Old Will Your Child Be?
Most funeral homes offer a range of services for children from babies lost in utero or stillborn to children up to the age of 18. They can also arrange a celebration of life service that is similar in nature to a birthday party or other celebratory event.
Where Will the Funeral and Other Events Take Place?
The funeral location you select will have a major impact on your family’s experience. You may want to have the services at your home or in a church, synagogue, funeral home or other religious center. You might also choose a unique venue such as your child’s favorite park or restaurant.
If your child will be buried, you can have the ceremony at a graveyard or in a church or other place of worship. You might also want to have the service in a special location that was significant in their life or at the site of an important accomplishment.
A funeral is an important time for family members to say their final farewells. A funeral can also be an opportunity for friends and neighbors to come together, remember your child and offer support. You can also include other activities at the funeral or memorial service such as a sing-along with music from your child’s favorite artist or a reading of their favorite poem.
You can use flowers as decor at a funeral or memorial service but many parents also choose to use toys, games, mementos and other items that were meaningful in their child’s life. Adding these touches can make the service more personalized and help to create a more healing environment for all in attendance.
You may be able to get help with the costs of your child’s funeral, cremation or burial. The Child Funeral Fund can pay some of the costs for families in England and Wales. You can also find support from the Children’s Funeral Charity which helps to cover other funeral costs.