A child funeral is a unique ceremony that honours the life of a baby or young child who has died. It is an opportunity for family members to come together and say goodbye in a way that feels right for them. Parents may choose to keep the child funeral private or invite friends and family to join them. Whether you are choosing to bury or cremate your child, it is important to discuss what will happen at the ceremony beforehand. This is to ensure that your child understands the choices you are making and that they have the support they need if they decide to attend.
Depending on your child’s age, you will need to explain that the body they are seeing will be closed and they will not be able to touch or kiss it. You will also need to explain that the body that is being buried or cremated will not be alive anymore and that it cannot hurt because the person who died is no longer there.
Some children who attend a funeral or memorial service can be quite overwhelmed and need to escape. Often it is good for a parent or trusted friend to be on hand to take the child outside for fresh air or into another room if they begin to feel uncomfortable. It is important to let the child know that they can always come back and rejoin the services.
If your child is old enough, you can also ask them if they would like to speak at the service or share a memory of their loved one. This will allow them to process their feelings in a safe and supported way in front of family and friends.
If you are planning on burying your baby or young child, it is an idea to ask family and friends to write messages or draw pictures that can be placed in the casket or alongside the urn. This is a beautiful and meaningful way to say goodbye.
You can also request to bury your child with special items such as their favourite blanket, doll, teddy or book. Some families even choose to include a small photo of themselves or their siblings.
Whether you are having a burial or cremation, it is important to consider how you will transport your child from the Coronial Services and on the day of the ceremony. Some people prefer for a family member to collect their child from Coronial Services and take them into the ceremony, while others like for the funeral director to be responsible for this.
Ultimately, it is up to each family to decide what feels right and comfortable for their child. Some parents find it helpful to give their child a choice about whether or not they want to go to the funeral, but I would advise you to consider your child’s feelings and emotions carefully before you make that decision. Whatever you choose, I can assure you that your child will be cared for and will receive the attention and support they need.