How to Arrange a Child Funeral

Funerals for children can be a very emotional event. They are especially difficult for siblings of the deceased child. A child funeral is an opportunity for the whole family to come together and honor their baby. It is also an important time for parents to begin the grieving process as well.

When arranging for a child funeral it is helpful to discuss all options with the funeral home, allowing them to explain each option and answer questions. This allows the parent to make an informed decision about their child’s ceremony. It is also a good idea to bring any items the child may want to include such as photos, a favorite teddy or toy, or a special letter written to their sibling.

It is also important to talk to your children about the upcoming services and what they can expect. It is helpful to give them a picture of what the room will look like and what their sibling’s body might look like (if it will be on view). The funeral director can help with this by taking them to an empty room and showing them what a casket might look like, for example.

Explain that at a funeral they will see people expressing a variety of emotions, including crying and laughing. This can help children feel more comfortable as they prepare for the services.

If your child will attend the funeral or memorial service think about assigning a buddy to be with them. This is a trusted friend or family member who will be able to take them out of the setting for breaks, comfort them, and explain the different activities and rituals that they might experience during the funeral or memorial service.

It is important to remember that your child is a child first and will express their grief in small doses. They will need the freedom to play or may seem very quiet during the services, this is normal. If they are very young you can try to distract them with a favorite toy or activity or by reading a book to them during the service. This will allow you to sit with them and support them during the service without feeling overwhelmed yourself. Afterwards you can talk with them about what they experienced and what they felt. This is a very important part of the healing process. Many bereaved parents find they regret not attending their child’s funeral later in life. If they have been reassured, prepared and supported they will often feel a sense of relief and peace about their choice.