A child funeral is often a very emotional time for everyone involved. Children may have questions and ideas about what they want to happen at the service. It’s important to allow them to express these and to take the lead as much as possible. You can create a child-friendly service that is different from or similar to a ceremony for an adult and it’s okay to go with what feels right for your family.
It’s also important to explain the logistics of a funeral for a child, such as where people will be sitting and what they might see. You can also discuss how long the service will last and what to expect if they’re going to view the body. You can also share what’s expected of them during the service, such as being quiet and still for extended periods of time.
If they are going to view the casket, you can explain what it will look like and how the body is kept in the casket. If they are being cremated you can help them understand that the ashes are kept in an urn and that the urn won’t be open for viewing. You can also discuss how the body will be taken from the funeral home and what happens to it afterwards.
At the service, make sure you have a point person assigned for any child who needs a break from the proceedings. They can be helpful in taking them for a walk or offering activities to help keep them occupied. You can also plan ahead by having a box of things they might need, such as a blanket or book.
You can also ask important people in your child’s life to read a reflection or memory or write a letter. They can also help to create a meaningful memorial by planting a tree or putting up an ornament in their memory. You can also have an alternative ceremony at home or do something special for them at the cemetery or crematorium, such as lighting a candle or leaving flowers.
A lot of the arrangements for a child funeral can be done online or with the help of family and friends. This can be very helpful as it can allow you to focus on your child’s funeral and not have to worry about the organising. It can also reduce stress when you are already dealing with grief and loss.
There is no right or wrong way to arrange a funeral for your child. You can hold a ceremony that is very similar to one for an adult, or you can have a more personal celebration. It’s also okay to have a smaller ceremony than what would be normal for an adult, but you should go with what feels right to you and your family. If you do need assistance, it’s worth getting in touch with a support service, such as Winston’s Wish or Child Bereavement UK, who can help you with planning and funding.