When a child passes away, parents need to make many decisions to help their family grieve and find closure. One of the first steps is choosing a funeral ceremony. This could be religious, traditional, outdoors, or even a memorial service. Many parents say that planning the funeral helps them manage grief and loneliness. Then, they can move on to doing something meaningful in their child’s memory.
It is important to talk to your children about the funeral and prepare them for what will happen. This will give them a better understanding and reduce their anxiety. For example, you might explain that people who are mourning will be quiet and sit still for long stretches of time. It is also good to tell them that a special section of seats may be reserved for immediate family or that they might need to wear dressier clothes for the services.
You can also explain that they will see a variety of emotions during the services, including crying and laughing. This will allow them to feel more comfortable if they choose to laugh and cry during the funeral services too.
During the visitation or ceremony, you might want to ask a close friend to watch over your children. This will allow you to focus on the ceremony and will give your children someone to talk to if they become overwhelmed or restless. This person can also reassure them that it is normal to be sad and that the sadness will pass.
If your child is going to be at the funeral they should understand that there will be a lot of people and they might have to wait for a long time to go into the casket. They might also need to stand for a long period of time. If you are worried that your child may be overwhelmed, you can prepare a bag with activities, books, or a small toy that they can use to keep themselves occupied.
You might also consider bringing some snacks and drinks for your child to eat and drink during the funeral services. This will keep them from feeling hungry or thirsty and will allow them to stay focused on the ceremony.
Many families personalize the funerals of their children by dressing them in their favourite outfits or burying them in items that represent their personality. This is a way for the deceased’s loved ones and their friends to remember them and connect with them. Some examples include a Moses basket, cradle or bassinet for an infant; a doll bed or bassinet for a toddler; and a crib or wagon padded with blankets for a child or teenager.
If you are planning a child funeral, we recommend that you speak to your local funeral director. They can answer all your questions, provide you with guidance and help you to plan the most fitting funeral ceremony for your child. They can also tell you about any costs associated with the funeral and what assistance might be available to you.