When a baby or child passes away, the decision to hold a funeral service or memorial is one that needs careful consideration. It is a very emotional and sensitive process that can be especially difficult for young children. This article discusses how to plan a child funeral to make the experience as comfortable and meaningful for the family as possible.
During the planning process, it is important to ask your child what they want. This will help them understand that they are able to choose their level of participation. It will also allow you to set realistic expectations about their ability to handle the event.
If they do choose to attend, it is recommended that you appoint someone they trust as their “funeral buddy.” This is a trusted friend or family member who will be there for them throughout the services and activities and will help explain what they are experiencing. This person will be able to take them outside or into the hallway for a quick break if they are struggling. It is also a good idea to give them a small token to carry during the services like a butterfly, bracelet or stuffed animal. This will allow them to connect with their sibling during the services and later serve as a reminder.
Consider a small ceremony that is held at home or in a location that feels special to the family. This can be a time for family and friends to come together to share photos, memories, anecdotes and reminisce. It can also be a chance for people to pay their respects to the baby or child.
It may be helpful to include readings during the service from a favorite book, the lyrics to a lullaby or hymn, a poem and letters written by parents or other loved ones. It can also be a great idea to include a slideshow with special photos of the baby or child, a poster, prayer cards and more. Disciple Press can provide you with these and many other customized printing options to help make your service a special one for all who come.
Children are often afraid that they too will die or that they will somehow cause the death of another person. It is a normal and natural fear for them to have. During the planning process, it is important for parents to reassure them that they will not be left alone and that they are loved. This will help ease their fears and give them the peace of mind they need to continue to grieve in their own way. Then, it is just a matter of finding strength to put the plans into action.