Children who have experienced the death of a sibling can be deeply affected. They often feel responsible for the death and have a difficult time accepting it. Having to make funeral arrangements and attending the services can be especially distressing for these children and their parents. It is important to prepare and explain as much as possible what will take place at the visitation, funeral and burial service. It also helps to allow children to express their feelings in a safe environment. Children who are prepared for the visitation and funeral generally find it easier to cope with these events.
Younger children need a lot of help and support when a loved one dies. They may not be able to remember the specifics of the deceased or understand what will happen at the visitation and funeral services.
A child funeral is a chance to honor the life of the deceased and pay your respects as a family. While a child funeral can be painful and sad, it can be a healing experience for a family. There are a number of things that you can do to ensure that your child has a positive experience at the visitation and funeral.
It is important to let the children know that their sibling will be at the visitation and funeral and what the body will look like. It is helpful to reassure them that the body will be cold and stiff, but that their sibling does not feel pain anymore. If the body will be cremated, it is important to explain what that means and that the ashes will be placed in an urn.
If your child does not want to attend the visitation or funeral, it is important to respect their decision. However, it is also good to talk about their concerns and fears and to remind them that they can always change their mind. It is helpful to arrange for a friend or adult to be present so that they can take the child out of the ceremony if they become too upset.
Give your child a job to do during the funeral ceremony. This could be as simple as bringing flowers or helping to hand out the order of service. They can also be asked to write a letter or poem for their sibling, read a story or play a song on the piano or guitar. If they are old enough, they can even say a few words during the service.
It is important to remember that children at all ages will be affected differently by the death of their sibling. Some will cry a lot, others will not and some will behave in ways that are unexpected. It is important to have a designated person who can communicate with other adults if necessary and to provide a safe and nurturing environment for the children. This will also allow the parents to attend the service without worrying about their children.