Your child’s funeral may be the first time that you have had to plan something, and while it can seem overwhelming and incredibly painful, it is essential to find some clarity as you begin your journey of grief. Taking time to do so can help you make informed decisions that will provide closure and comfort for you and your loved ones during this difficult time.
Creating the Ceremony
A funeral service for a child should be as unique as the person who died. The family will need to decide on a theme, music, readings, and other elements that reflect the personality and values of the child. The choice of where the service will be held and how many guests will attend are also important, as is deciding on the type of flowers and other memorial gifts to send home.
If your child is a young child, you will need to explain everything in terms that they understand and encourage them to ask questions. This can be very hard for them, so be sure to involve them in planning and discussing what will happen at the funeral.
Whether or not your child wants to be present at the funeral is a personal decision that will need to be made. Some children feel more included when they are invited to take part in the service, such as lighting a candle or placing a momento in their sibling’s casket.
They may also wish to offer their own words of tribute. They can do this by speaking about their favorite memories of the person who has died, or by sharing a poem or song that is special to them.
Your child’s friends and classmates can play a role at the funeral by serving as pallbearers, or by reading from scripture or poetry that has significance for them. Likewise, school glee clubs, bands and choirs can perform a musical piece that celebrates the life of your child.
When selecting the music, you will want to consider what type of music your child enjoys and how it fits in with the theme of the funeral. You might also want to consider the music of your child’s religion or culture.
You might also want to think about what songs or hymns reflect the personality of your child and their relationship with you. You might also want to consider incorporating songs or hymns that have special meaning for your child and their relationships with you and other family members.
If you are considering having a special musical piece performed, you will need to work with the clergy or officiant to create a service that honors your child’s unique life. You can also request that the musician or band donate a portion of their proceeds to a charity that is meaningful to your child and their family.
Your child’s favorite colors, food and clothing can also influence the style of the service. You might choose a traditional service with a large crowd, or you might opt for a more intimate gathering of close family and friends.