A child funeral is a ceremony that honours the life of a baby or young child who has died. It can be a very difficult and emotional event, especially for the parents. There are some things to consider before you plan for a child funeral.
If you have other children it may help to involve them in discussions about their sibling’s death and the funeral. This can give them an idea of what to expect and gives them a chance to express their own feelings. It’s important not to over do this though, as talking about a death all the time can have negative effects. Rather, talk about happy memories and fun times that you had together to keep the focus on positivity.
It’s also a good idea to explain what will happen at the funeral service and graveside burial to your children. This will help them know what to expect and may ease their anxiety. You should also discuss what to do if they can’t attend. It’s not fair to force a child to go to the funeral when they feel that it will be too upsetting for them. If you are concerned about your child’s ability to cope with a funeral service you should consider asking a friend or family member to help care for them at the services. They can comfort them and take them out of the setting for breaks if needed.
The day of a funeral and graveside service can be very upsetting for children, but it’s important to remind them that they will have lots of people there to support them. They will probably be asked to sit quietly and listen for long periods of time, which can be challenging for very young children. To help them manage this you can encourage them to bring their favorite book, doll or tablet and do activities they enjoy. You can also arrange for them to play with a sibling or friend, or to draw pictures or make a card to be buried with their loved one.
A viewing can be a very traumatic experience for children, particularly if it’s an open casket. It’s a good idea to prepare your children in advance for what they will see by explaining that their sibling will look like they are sleeping and won’t wake up. You can also reassure them that their sibling will not be in pain and will not feel cold.
Many people choose to bury their children in favourite clothes, such as a football shirt or doll dress. It can be a very meaningful way to remember them. Other options include a memorial candle, a personalised stone plaque or a beautiful flower bouquet. Many families also ask friends and family to make donations to a charity that was important to their child. This could be an organization that is searching for a cure for the condition they suffered from or to a community project close to their heart.